Statistics Class

Short story written entirely on a whim after Sam suggested that Khai and Titu might not be able to make Statistics Class interesting. It's had no editing or whatever, so it's probably very rough.

"Hello class, and happy new school year! Welcome to Advanced Statistics Class- ah, yes, you in the back."

Twin fennec foxes had raised their paws as one. One was a pair of oval spectacles, and the other had on extremely dorky spectacles.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but you misspelled statistics."

The teacher frowned at them. "I did not, I haven't even written down the word 'statistics' yet."

"Aye, we understand that, ma'am-"

"But when you were thinking-"

"You spelled it wrong." Both of them had the crisp accent that showed they were descended from House Thorne.

Her frown deepened. "I don't know what you're talking about. The new generation has no respect for foxes my age. Now, stop pretending to have elements and start paying attention. As I was saying-"

The paws raised again. The teacher sighed. "What is it, you two?"

"Apologies, ma'am, but we do have elements."

They looked with innocent, wide-open eyes, full of truth, back at her. She pursed her lips and frowned. "Fine, then. What are they?"

"My mum says I've got Dark Air and Dark Aether-"

"And I've got Dark Earth, Dark Air, and Dark Aether."

The teacher scoffed. "That's preposterous."

"That's what everyone says. But all the tests I've taken have come out with those three elements."

"I'm sure they do," the teacher replied gently. "Now, class, this is advanced statistics. I am Mrs. Brown. Most of you are about to graduate from upper grade school, correct? Yes, I know, except you two in the back, you're only in third grade."

One of the larger foxes scowled and turned around. "How'd the little pipsqueaks get in 'ere?"

"We're smart," the replied as one, perfectly unaffected.

"Yes, class, we've got some younger students with us. Now, as I was saying, this year we will be-"

"Why are the pipsqueaks in 'ere?"

"Yeah, teach! Why'd they let the rats in?"

The twins looked indignantly at him. "Excuse us, but we are of House Thorne. We are certainly not rats."

"Oh, d'ya hear that? They're not rats. They're from House Thorne." Several other foxes sniggered, the teacher's protests going unheard.

"Don't you mock our family!"

"Indeed!" The twins turned to each other and whispered ferociously. "We challenge you to a duel. You may choose a secondary."

Mrs. Brown groaned and slumped back in her chair. "Dueling on the first day of statistics class," she muttered. "This is going to be a long year."

"Aye, but my brother's going to end up as a ship anyway."

"What?!"

"Spoiler alert!"

"Yeah, well, you're gonna end up like an octopus."

"Better than being stuck in a vat of jello."

"And you're gonna become a schizophrenic."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Shut up, or I shall taunt you a second time!"

"Yes, well, I'll tell mom you stole her pocketwatch and broke it!"

"That was you!"

"Oh, right. Shoot!"

"You 'disassembled' it to 'figure out how it worked.' Remember?"

"Yes, but you're the one who told me to throw it against the wall!"

"Yes, but you're the one that actually broke it!"

"Please! Children. Let's. Just. Learn. Yes?"

"Yes, ma'am! But, please, for the sake of our sanity, spell Statistics right first."

~*~

"Khai. That is not at all how our first day of Advanced Statistics Class went."

"Yes, it is!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"